Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!
A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.
Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!
What kind of school do you go to if you’re…
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.
Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.
Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!
Tommy: At the great airports!
Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.
Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!
Johnny: In jail!
Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.
Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.
No comments:
Post a Comment